Chung: A new year: Vietnamese and openly gay

From the window of Vuong Nguyen's East San Jose home, you can see the kumquats growing in bold orange profusion in her sunny yard. Their abundance is a happy sight on the cusp of the lunar New Year.

Nguyen, 64, is looking forward to the new beginnings that come with Tet, marked Sunday with big celebrations among family at home and in San Jose's annual downtown celebration.

She is focused on what she hopes is truly a new beginning -- she and several others marching openly as a group of gay Vietnamese-Americans so that their community can see them as their own.

``The Vietnamese community always thinks there are no homosexuals, no lesbians, no transgender people in their community,'' she said. In fact, she believes, lesbians and gays like herself have reached critical mass in the South Bay.

``We hope by marching they can see us, that there are `good' kids, `nice' persons,'' she said. ``I hope they can see that.''

From the seed of an idea in September, several groups pulled together into an umbrella organization for greater support. Sunday, Vietnamese from San Jose to San Francisco to Orange County and even as far as Texas and Louisiana will join in a parade and 10th annual spring festival. Song That Radio, BangaiVN.net, O-Moi and the Gay Vietnamese Alliance are members.

``We are your children, your brothers and sisters . . . and in some cases, your parents,'' said Thanh Do, a member of the new group. The theme they chose, not coincidentally, for the most family-oriented holiday of the year was ``Straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender, we are all family.''

It's a bold move, not without risk among Vietnamese-Americans, Do said. Often young people hide their sexual orientation from their families, or families hide it from their friends. So many parents push their kids away in fear of clucking judgment from the community. It leads to tragic rifts within families.

That's why some supporters are flying up from Southern California, and from Texas and Louisiana, said Gina Masequesmay, a member of O-Moi, a Vietnamese-American lesbian group based in Orange County. They will take the places of those who just cannot march in their hometown.

``For people who live in San Jose to come out -- that is a very big deal,'' Masequesmay said. ``A lot of people may be out, but they don't want their family facing the repercussion of other people knowing and talking about their family.''

Even Nguyen, the ``elder sister'' of the Vietnamese-American lesbian community, is not immune. She helped found Song That Radio, an hourlong educational program in Vietnamese, on KSJX-AM (1500) seven years ago because they needed an educational bridge between the parents of the Vietnamese-speaking older generation and their closeted children. Last year, she received ``Activist of the Year'' from the Silicon Valley Asian Pacific American Democratic Club. Song That Radio won two awards for its service from different groups.

Yet it was her mother's death several years ago that made her freer to operate more openly, she said.

Her mother, who had chosen between evacuating her children from Saigon in 1975, and staying with her politician husband in Vietnam, fretted about her daughter's orientation, Nguyen said, and she was mindful. ``My mom had to suffer too much already.''

Ultimately, Nguyen concluded, reconciliation just might begin with a walk and a friendly wave in a Sunday morning parade.

Thinking of that bountiful kumquat tree in her yard, I take it as an auspicious sign.