GV Articles
 

Fems, sissies, pussy-wusses

by Ngoc Nguyen
November 2005

“She is James Dean all over again, James Dean with the arrogant hair, James   Dean with his tight black denim, James Dean with the bitter brat look, James Dean with the morbid leather looks, James Dean against the whole boring suburban middle-class…” (Patterson and Le Ble p.119)

 “In truth, a convincing argument can be made that American society as a whole is far more accepting of women loving women than of men loving men. Gay Men are much more frequently victims of anti-gay violence than are lesbians.” (Miller p. 32)
Have you ever wondered why most reported cases of domestic violence are men against women?  It is always the men exerting power over women, abusing them as they are weaker and less superior.  Our society emphasizes on the masculinity and domination of males, while preaches subtlety and weakness among females.  This concept of the superior sex and their masculine actions is not only glamorized by the heterosexual community, but it also exists within the homosexual community.  In the homosexual community, weak feminine features are looked at negatively while masculine features are more approved.  It is okay for a lesbian to be manly like James Dean, while a feminine homosexual male is given dirty looks and stares by both the heterosexual and his homosexual surroundings.  This is an amazement, coming from a group that defied the traditional male/female  relationship.

James Dean, the infamous icon of the 60s.  Widely known and loved for his rebellious bad-boy attitude, the perfectly greased hair, the leather jacket and denim jean, occasionally with a lit cigarette, lesbians and straight males envy and wanted to be like him, while straight women along with gay males lust after him.  The envy, admiration, and lust for someone that possesses a great amount of “appealing” traits shows how obsessed our society is with masculinity.  It is as though society is saying, “If one possesses masculinity, one will be stronger and more superior than the rest.”   This has been shown and implanted in us for as long as men ever existed.  It was the cavemen who were the protector of the family.  He is the one who, with all his might, goes to acquire food while his submissive women partner stays home to cook and care.  As seen on The Flintstones, cavewoman are being drag by her man by her hair.  These inequalities of the sexes still exist today.  Men are still able to make more money than women and women are still unable to become president.

Now in contemporary time with more homosexuality exposure, lesbians could adapt stereotypic-masculine traits like having short hair and wearing baggy clothing and would still be more accepted than a man walking down the street with JUST lipstick on.  Feminine gay boys toughen themselves up around their straight friends and family, but still feel the pressure to be tough in their own gay community.  It is in the gay community that there is still sexism that differentiates between the less desirable fems, sissies, pussy-wusses from the more ideal straight-acting gay boys.  The gay community would even uses names like “Flaming queen” or “Bitchy” to describe feminine gay males, giving femininity a bad and unfavorable reputation.

From listening to the news and reading news articles, most cases reported gay-bashing are of gay males.  It seems like the weak feminine boys (gay or straight) are always targets for masculine boys (gay or straight).  Their weak and skinny appearance makes them a good target, because to our society’s view, they don’t possess brawn and muscles or a pack of cigarettes in their pocket.  Raised and pressured masculine boys see these feminine boys as threat to their masculinity.  They are so intimidated by the feminine features these sissies that they had to beat the sissy-ness out of them, fearing if they don’t, they will be susceptible to being feminine themselves.

Speaking from experience when searching through gay personals, many times a description of a gay male would include “Str8 acting.”  It is though, pointing out that one acts “Str8 [masculine]“ would greatly increase the many hits the personal would receive.  Or other times, someone would say “Oh I don’t like him because he’s too flaming and feminine.”  These instances are obvious proof that our society is oblivious to the sexist, homophobic, and harmful environment we put ourselves and our children in.  The imitations of stereotypically masculine traits and not the stereotypic-femininity only hurt the gay community as a whole.  This progresses sexism, which is the cause of homophobia, to make us believe and associate femininity to weakness. This serves as a fuel for the American society to continue discriminating and hate. “If the gays can’t except themselves, how are they able to ask us to accept them?”               

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