GVASex
| Anal Fundamentals | ||
It goes like this: there was a time before the regulation of our desires when we had nothing but pleasure in that nether part of our bodies many of us get squeamish about now. You know, the anus, butt, cornhole, the winking star, the barking spider, and all those words they made you use when you were straight. By the time you had your first sexual experience with another guy, it was something more: the ass, culo, man-pussy, mangina, lồn trai. Many love it or leave it by this stage, because let’s face it; this is where poo comes out. Consider this piece a medical re-introduction to your ass for both the anally naïve and for the ass masters out there. For good anal hygiene, gay docs recommend just a simple cleaning around the outside with soap and warm water. Some guys wipe with tissue obsessively, which is a bad idea because you can get a little too firm and scratch off layers of skin. Enemas aren’t always a good idea because you might accidentally leave some water inside, which could come gushing out at an inopportune moment. So it’s better to instill just a small volume (less than a cup) and evacuate your lower rectum. Use plain water, as soaps and perfumes can irritate. Also, instead of using enemas, you can simply be aware of when you’ve had a bowel movement and use the ‘rhythm’ method to ensure cleanliness. Or if you like it dirty and spontaneous, forget about all this. Officially speaking, the anus is the last two inches or so of your GI tract, formed by layers of skin filled with pleasurable nerve endings. Many guys like to hang out in this area, using their mouths to give their partners pleasure (rimming). Using a few well-manicured fingers down there during foreplay can go a long way in making your sex life hot, and no one says you have to penetrate to enjoy the wonders of the ass. But if you do decide to wander in through the back door, you’ll find a sphincter muscle that surrounds the anus. It’s a voluntary muscle you can tighten, whether it’s to keep intruders out or to give your partner extra pleasure. In just a bit further is an involuntary sphincter that your body controls. It’s involved in keeping the mix of stool, gas, and liquids all separated. This O-ring is the gateway to the rectum. Trying to open it up too quickly causes a painful spasm known as the “ring of fire”. Some people associate this pain with anal sex and feel anxious about sex because of bad experiences where their partner entered too deeply, too quickly. There’s a trick to mastering this sphincter, by making it fatigue and relax. First you just barely insert a fairly large round object such as a cock (if available), sex toy, or a few fingers. We’re talking an inch at most, with lots of lube and latex if there’s the possibility of transmitting diseases. It’s a good idea to let the bottom do this; if you’re fucking, letting the bottom squat on top of the top’s dick gives them good control over the situation, and more trust. As you insert the object, you’ll notice some pressure and possibly pain from the sphincter clamping down. Hold the object still for a good 30 to 60 seconds – don’t force it – while the muscle relaxes and the sensation of discomfort melts away. Then you can have sex without fear of excruciating pain, as the sphincter will no longer spasm. 
Inside the rectum you’ll find a world of fun. The prostate is full
of ecstatic sensations; to find it, put your finger in as far as it will
go (gently, with plenty of lube) and then press forward aiming for his belly
button. It’s a soft, curved organ about the size of a hacky sack and
it likes to be massaged, so give it a rub for good measure. The skin
lining the walls of the rectum doesn’t experience pain, only the sensation
of stretch, which can also be really pleasurable. It’s easily torn,
though, so using only blunt objects and lots of lube will ensure a safe
experience. If you want to put objects longer than eight to ten inches
all the way up there, you’ll notice some resistance—this is the point where
the sigmoid colon takes a turn to the right (if you’re looking at someone’s
abdomen straight on). Not following this curve can lead to puncturing
the colon and life-threatening infections or bleeding, but working with it
can be fun. This bend is what one bottom-connoisseur describes as the
“second door” to a kind of pleasure you’ll never know until you walk through
it.Now that the anal anatomy is burned in you like a childhood memory, let me tell you about some fun human tricks. The first is the anal wink reflex. Rub the outer rim of the ass – no matter how hard he tries to stop it, his anus will wink back at you. Nudge, nudge. I always think of Chrissy from Three’s Company giving Jack that sassy, sexy snaggletooth wink as they’re planning their hijinks. The ass is also intimately linked to the sphincter in the bladder that stops you from peeing. Next time he’s taking a leak, give him a soft poke in the butt and he’ll stop peeing. Another way to get this reflex (called the bulbocavernosus reflex) to work is to squeeze the head of the penis and watch his anus wink at you. Last one: the cremaster reflex. The nerve that lets you feel what you feel along your inner thigh is for some strange reason connected to the muscle that raises and lowers the balls. Try stroking his inner thigh really lightly – the testicle on that side will rise up. Do it over and over and you’ll not only have a yo-yo-gonad, you’ll be his cream master for life. So if you want to get it on, you’ve got to get it in, the right way. And you’ve got to rethink this part of your body, whatever you want to call it, so that you can be comfortable enjoying it. They never taught us in medical school we could call it something sweet like fundament , or how to advise people on its love and care. It comes from Latin, fundus meaning ‘bottom’. Think: Fundamental rights, fund of knowledge, retirement funds, Chanel Foundation Face Makeup™. Treat it right, fellas—your spice island, your rosebud, your brown berry, your dark star, your fifth point of contact. Set your mind free and your ass will follow. For more info and techniques, check out Dr. Stephen Goldstone’s the “Ins and Outs of Gay Sex” published in 1999 by Dell Publishing. To find a gay-friendly health care provider, check out http://www.glma.org . This article originally appeared in Corpus Vol 2, no. 2 and is reprinted with permission and kind thanks from the generosity of the Institute for Gay Men’s Health (http://www.apla.org and http://www.gmhc.org). ©2004 Institute for Gay Men’s Health. |
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